you and I we shared so much

fears and hopes and dreams,

yes and some realities, too, like love and desperation

created by the storms of life

and words we share – of course –

these little chunks of letters, we

put them together anew each time

again and again

used by you and me

over and over but

never sucked dry of their meaning

we write them, erase them, rewrite, form and deform

we subdue them to our minds

changing them to something always new and

reveal our secret selves along

with these plain pieces of black and blue ink

yes, we are kindred spirits

craving words and creating

our world

together

 

 

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I want to run
through the rain
feel the millions of droplets on my skin
wet hair blinding my sight
so I don’t have to see the misery
any longer

I want to hide
from the thunder
growling through my body
filling my heart with despair
so I run out into the tempest
once again

I want to run
through the desert
feel the sun burn my face
glistening heat bathing my body
so I don’t feel the anguish
any longer

I want to hide
from the lightning
cruelly created by your departure
so I cry out into the void
once again

I paid a heavy price
by loving you
and hope you paid it
too

 

everything looks so small

from here

tiny houses and streets just as wide as a

packthread never meant to walk on

 

we’re breaking through the cloud cover

and the world seems turned

upside down

everything we have believed in

soaked  by this fluffy white almost non-existence

 

and it looks like the surf of the ocean fills this vast sky

mountains huge and indestructible – solid and secure;

but my plane glides effortlessly on these waves

the air flow lulling me to sleep by its regular up and down…

 

everything looks so small from here

and decisions become irrelevant

I asked you to give me

something to touch

something solid to cling to

when trust fails me again

 

you gave me

something abiding

a metal ring

a golden cage

that winds itself around my heart

cold and adamant

 

and while your trust increased

and prospered from that date

I froze under the burden

the terror you called love

 

it would have been better by far

to give me a feather

light and soft

a single word

a touch

instead

everything looks so small

from here

tiny houses and streets just as wide as a

packthread

now we’re breaking through the clouds

and the world seems turned

upside down

clouds like the surf on the ocean

and my plane glides effortlessly on them

everything looks so small

from here

and decisions

get unimportant

trains to St. Ives

13.38

14.07

12.15

I wonder which I should take

to the Lighthouse

faithfully

 

price: single ticket 7.90 pounds –

experience

inestimable

the smell of the sea

the wind in my hair

the freedom

and Virginia Woolf almost in grasp

 

St. Ives -> St. Austell

18.58

19.55

20.55

21.54

if it weren’t so dark

and so cold

I would stay forever

instead I take a

single ticket for 8.00 pounds

 

much to expensive

for the misery

awaiting me

 

up all night writing poems

at 5.30

and my train leaves at 6.32

‘m still not dressed for work

and an empty glass

with only a last droplet of red wine stands

next to me

I fix you – you oh Night!

unforgettable to me

damned to be repeated

for aeons

and when you think that pain crushes you

when grief brings you down on your knees

and fury removes all of your humanity —

 

there are words that ease your pain

arms that soothe your grief

and an echo of

Love

that restores

humanity

big city

skyscrapers

built shoulder to shoulder

illuminated windows

stars

forlorn in the universe

 

big city

highways

trunks

leading to

nowhere

forlorn in the world

 

big city

naked

cold

and me warm and alive

forlorn in the noise

that is you

I called you to give you back

something

to give you back

the cancer

the ulcer

growing

in my heart

making me sick

 

I called you to claim

something

to claim

health

the joy

missed so sadly

making me a person again

 

I called to show you

something

to show you

the cancer

the ulcer

growing

in your heart

causing cancer

in the ones you love!

 

Trouble is

you changed your number…